In Patrilocal societies, women move to their husbands’ house and co-reside with husbands’ parents after marriage. Gender gaps in personal autonomy, education, health, and division of labor are more prominent in families and societies which are strictly Patrilocal.
With marriage, almost all the girls who live with her husband’s parents and extended family, lose a great deal of their freedom, decision making power and autonomy. A girl is expected to follow the rules and norms, sometimes strict and irrelevant, set by her husband’s parents. Often, the choice of a girl’s lifestyle, starting from food habit to dressing sense and even the way she behaves or talks are questioned, faced with criticism, and need to be altered after marriage.
Parents, in a patrilocal society, raise their daughters to be able to ‘fit-in’ to a different family.
Girls are reminded from their childhood to behave in a way which is more acceptable, and appropriate to her future in-laws.
Contrary to how a girl is raised to adjust with any situation after moving to her husband’s family, a boy is raised to be looked after and all his needs to be taken care of by his wife after marriage, and by parents before marriage. Most boys are not allowed to help in chores and typically do not participate or share responsibilities in housekeeping. Mothers or wives do everything in the house for the men and boys. Thus the division of labor is always unequally distributed in Patrilocal families.
Most often than not, parents interfere in most of the important decisions of their son’s life even after marriage. While boys enjoy the privileges of living with their own family, girls might need permission to meet her own parents. Visiting her parents very often after marriage is not acceptable or allowed in most of the families.
In patrilocal Societies, sons contribute to the wealth and economic condition of the family. They are also responsible for taking care of the financial need and looking after the parents at old age. It’s a taboo for parents to accept any economic help from a married daughter, even when they are financially independent. Girls are raised primarily to be sent to her husband’s house by marrying off, often in exchange of heavy dowry. In India, raising a daughter is often compared with watering the neighbor’s garden- a liability without any benefits.
It’s no wonder that parents have a much higher preference for a boy, and invest more on the health and education of sons than daughters, especially when the resources are limited.
The birth of a son is celebrated for multiple reasons-
- Sons carry the forward family lineage
- Once an adult, a son will add prosperity and wealth to a family
- Parents will be physically looked after and financially supported by them at old age
- Once married, his wife will share most of the responsibilities and household chores
- Additional incentives of getting dowry when a son is married
Sons – the future bread earners, family lineage carriers and parents support at old ages definitely have a higher status than daughters, who are considered as ‘other’s property’.
Patrilocality is a result of severe gender discrimination and is the root of preferences for sons, female infanticide and femicides. It is sad that a couple starts their married life with such severe inequality which multiplies over their lifetime. Being a woman in a patrilocal society is synonymous to living a life dictated by others. Women spend a significant amount of time in housekeeping and taking care of husband’s parents if needed, along with taking care of their children. They also have much lower status and often endure oppression, abuse, and domestic violence. Patrilocality also has a long term social and psychological consequences on girls and women. Women, who silently endure oppression and torture for years, often internalize this oppression and plays the role of the oppressor as a mother-in-law and the vicious cycle of oppression continues.