Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuses: Resources and Guidelines on Healing

If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, you are most likely fighting a silent and invisible battle throughout your life. You probably never talked about it with anybody and thought you would be successful in overcoming whatever happened to you as a child. You might have always tried to minimize the experiences of abuse by blocking all the memories associated with those experiences. Yet, as an adult, you probably are struggling in your relationships, mood, or suffer from chronic depression or anxiety.

survivors of childhood sexual abuse just wish to completely wipe all the memories out of their brains.

If you have been molested or abused by a family member or someone you really loved and trusted, and you are carrying a deep sense of pain and scar within you all along. How and to what extent your experiences of childhood assaults or abuses are dominating your present life cannot be predicted. It is different for each individual and varies case by case.

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse usually suffer from higher levels of depression, guilt, shame, self-blame, eating disorders, somatic concerns, anxiety, dissociative patterns, repression, denial, sexual problems, and relationship problems.

Whichever has been the coping strategy, every survivor carries the scar for the rest of their life. And some of them don’t even acknowledge that they are fighting with an invisible enemy.

The Path of Healing For the Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuses

Very similar to any other trauma response, when it comes to healing, there is no single definite answer or one size fits all approach. There are many paths, most survivors adopt a combination of them to feel better. The path of healing could be different depending on one’s social, psychological, and circumstantial condition.

Believe that you can heal. 

In whichever situation and stage of your life you are at, always believe that you can heal. Healing starts with the simple affirmation ‘I can heal.’

Healing is a process. It does not happen overnight. It is a journey. You have a very important role in your healing journey, and that is your active participation. The journey begins with you choosing to heal.

Healing is also a choice. Unless we choose to heal ourselves, we would never heal. Make a conscious choice to heal yourself from your past trauma and negative memories. The process of healing is not easy, there could be many setbacks and roadblocks.

Find the Right Therapist

If your depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-esteem, or relationship issues are interfering with your daily life, seeking professional, psychological therapy or counseling are the best options.

Yet, many women in different parts of the world are not in a situation where they can access treatment or therapy.

Psychological well-being or mental health is either not valued or seen as a stigma in many societies. Women can have different social, financial, and personal reasons for not being able to consult a professional therapist.

If going for in-person counseling or therapy does not work for you, you can look for online counseling options.

Depending on the severity of your symptoms and your access to treatments, you may choose alternative therapies or other means for combating your symptoms.

However, the alternative therapies mentioned in this post are not meant to be used as a substitute for counseling or psychotherapy. They can often give very good results when used along with psychotherapy.

But, if you do not have the access, or you do not want to do treatment or counseling, you still have the right to heal. And you can heal. Healing may appear to be difficult but is possible.

Be surrounded by the right type of people. 

Having meaningful, positive relationships could have a tremendously positive effect on our personality and well-being. Likewise, negative and toxic people may totally destroy your healing process and general well-being.

We all have negative and toxic people in our lives. They could be your parents, siblings, partners or friends. Most of the time they are the self-proclaimed well-wishers who try to control your life. They make your journey more difficult by blaming and shaming you for your past, reminding you of things that you are struggling to forget, or making you unhappy in some way or other.

It is not easy to free yourself from these types of people when they are family, friends, and relatives. In some societies, family and relatives have the utmost priority. Irrespective of the damage they cause, you need to be respectful and cordial to them! Women are supposed to comply with several codes of conduct that society imposes on them. Sometimes, even after realizing how harmful their influence is, we can not cut off our connections with them because they are the people we love or have some social or familial connections with.

What do you do then?

It is not worthwhile to accommodate people in your life who are making your healing process more difficult. That said, I know sometimes you may have no choices in terms of who you want to keep in touch with. Nevertheless, try to develop a friends circle that makes you feel comfortable and accomplished and allows you to feel good about yourself. You can also connect with like-minded people in different communities or forums.

Be firm and strong when you are dealing with controlling and judgmental people who are trying to belittle you. Let them know firmly when you do not agree with them. Be it your parent or best friend, try to adapt a silent but meaningful way to show them their limits. Just because you are vulnerable, hurt, or depressed does not mean that they have the right to control your life.