Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Resources and Guidelines on Healing

Child sexual abuse is a heinous crime and occurs more frequently than most people think. In the United States, every nine minutes a child is sexually abused. Most of the abusers are either family members or well-known to the victims. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse suffer from a range of mental health issues as adults. Depression, guilt, shame, self-blame, eating disorders, somatic concerns, anxiety, dissociative patterns, repression, denial, sexual problems, substance or alcohol abuse, and relationship problems are some of the mental health issues linked with childhood sexual abuse and assault. In this piece, I have put together a collection of guidance and resources for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to support them in their journey of healing. 

The Path of Healing For the Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuses

If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, you are most likely fighting a silent and invisible battle throughout your life. You probably never talked about it and thought you would be successful in putting it behind you. Or you might have tried to minimize the experiences and blocked all the memories associated with those experiences. Yet, as an adult, you are most likely struggling with mood swings, depression, or anxiety. 

If you have been harmed by a family member or someone you trusted, you must be carrying a deep sense of pain and scar within you all along. How and to what extent your experiences of childhood assaults or abuses are dominating your present life cannot be predicted. Trauma affects our brains in different ways leading to different manifestations. It is different for each individual and depends on a variety of other factors like the length and severity of your experience. Nevertheless, every survivor carries a scar and fights with an invisible enemy for the rest of their lives unless they are very intentional about healing. 

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Similar to trauma responses, when it comes to healing, there is no single definite answer or one size fits all approach. There are many paths and most survivors adopt a combination of them to feel better. The path of healing could be different depending on one’s social, psychological, and circumstantial condition.

But it starts with your intention and affirmation. In whichever situation and stage of your life you are at, always believe that you can heal. Healing starts with the simple affirmation ‘I can heal.’

Healing is a process. It does not happen overnight. It is a journey. You have a very important role in your healing journey, and that is your active participation. The journey begins with you choosing to heal.

Healing is also a choice. Unless we choose to heal ourselves, we would never heal. Make a conscious choice to heal yourself from your past trauma and negative memories. The process of healing is not easy, there could be many setbacks and roadblocks.

Read: Why Can’t Women Escape Abusive Relationships?

Find the Right Therapist

If your depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-esteem, or relationship issues are interfering with your daily life, seeking professional, psychological therapy or counseling is the best option. 

But many women can’t access treatment or therapy. Psychological well-being or mental health is not valued in many societies. They can have different social, financial, and personal reasons for not being able to consult a professional therapist. If going for in-person counseling or therapy does not work for you, you can look for online counseling options.

Depending on the severity of your symptoms and your access to treatments, you may choose alternative therapies or other means for combating your symptoms. However, the alternative therapies mentioned in this post are not meant to be used as a substitute for counseling or psychotherapy. They can often give very good results when used along with psychotherapy.

But, if you do not have access to treatment or therapy, you still have the right to heal. And you can heal. Healing may appear to be difficult but is possible. We will focus on different avenues that you can choose to feel better. 

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Be surrounded by the Right Type of People. 

Having meaningful, positive relationships could have a tremendously positive effect on our personality and well-being. Likewise, negative and toxic people may totally destroy your healing process and general well-being. 

We all have toxic people in our lives. They could be your parents, siblings, partners, or friends. Many times they are the self-proclaimed well-wishers who try to control your life. They make your journey more difficult by reminding you of things that you are struggling to forget, or making you unhappy in some way or another.

It is not worthwhile to accommodate people in your life who are making your healing process more difficult. That said, I know sometimes you may have no choices in terms of who you want to keep in touch with, especially if they are family. Nevertheless, try to develop a friends circle that makes you feel comfortable and accomplished and allows you to feel good about yourself. You can also connect with like-minded people in different communities or forums.

Be firm and strong when you are dealing with controlling and judgmental people who are trying to belittle you. Let them know firmly when you do not agree with them. Be it your parent or best friend, try to adopt a silent but meaningful way to show them their limits. Just because you are vulnerable, hurt, or depressed does not mean that they have the right to control your life.

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