Force in Interdependence
Battling with my Identity and Trying to prove my Worth
I was born and raised in Nigeria. I grew up wondering about my identity and, more importantly, my self-worth. But there was always a part of me that wanted to be a leader and assist other females to become leaders. I was interested in learning how to be a leader and how to re-imagine it. As a woman who was always wanted to prove her worth, one way I did so was by taking on a variety of projects to demonstrate my abilities. I became increasingly stressed as I continued to do so. Also, as a woman attempting to establish her worth, I felt compelled to do so on my own; the thought of partnering did not appeal to me because you would be unable to demonstrate your worth.
Launching into Self-awareness
Learning meditation and the power of now, which is moving into the present moment, helped me become more aware of my emotional reactions and to regulate them inwardly. And the more I practiced being present, the more at ease, confident, and able to step into my own power as a woman I became. I realized that before I could help other Nigerian girls believe in themselves, I needed to believe in myself first.
Power in Collaboration
As I worked on my leadership from an internal perspective, I realized that collaborating with people was actually advantageous to the exterior activities I wanted to perform. Realizing that I didn’t have to lead alone, I began cooperating and forming alliances, which allowed me to be more creative. I learned that collaborating allows you to do more; it’s like harmonizing ideas, looking at things from many angles, and merging resources and ideas. It is true that two heads are better than one. I moved away from independence and toward interdependence. To make a difference in the world, we must collaborate.
My perception about changing people
Finally, I understood at work that I couldn’t change people. It’s not in my power to do so, so I’ve learned that the only way to get to the bottom of some questions and find answers is to engage in reflective dialogue with others who hold stereotypes, inviting people who hold opposing viewpoints to engage in a conversation with me and reflect on why they hold those viewpoints. The goal is not to prove someone wrong or right, or even to change attitudes; rather, it is to get to know one another and, through that, come to new realizations and insights together. It’s merely to provide room for introspective conversation. Most individuals believe what they think because they have been taught to believe it. Most individuals believe what they believe because they were taught to believe it as a child, but they have never considered why they believe it. Many people have become victims of culture without ever questioning why. This question will also provide an opportunity for active listening and discussion. We can challenge and possibly change our perspectives and habitual thought processes through thoughtful dialogue.
My principal advocacy activity focuses on empowering girls to be complete and self-sufficient. I am committed to assisting the girl child in shattering glass ceilings that stifle her development, breaking the grip of gender stereotypes that suffocate her behavioural makeup, teaching her to reject societal constructs that are detrimental to her personal growth, and re-orienting her to break the chains of deeply entrenched indoctrinations.
My lifelong objective is to instill in young girls the enthusiasm and learning skills necessary to reject societally imposed scripts and instead choose to follow the courses of their own choosing. To that end, I occasionally organize trainings, seminars, and workshops, as well as other instructive but exciting events. Secondary school girls are my primary target audience since they have a relatively pristine mind that has not been tainted by societal pressures. I want them to break free from the confining spaces that keep them from expanding their wings and flying into the sky, where they can only soar till the end of eternity.
I am also very particular about re-imaging women in our society